4) Kyle Field

There are so many things that can be said about Kyle Field (aka “The Tacklebox”).

• It’s loud (yup, a bunch of nut-grabbing, sheep-humping, fake-soldier-playing, mind-numbed hicks can be extremely loud)
• It’s ugly (oh dear lord yes)
• It’s got great sightlines (that’s a big ol’ NOPE)
• It’s structurally sound (wait, what?)

Loud

No argument. Get that many coordinated nut-grabbers in one stadium, they’ll be loud.

Ugly

Kyle Field has never been what you would call a “pretty” stadium. It’s been called “The Tacklebox” for a reason. When aggy added the North End Zone, it was cobbled together without any thought of integrating into the existing erector set style… and it showed.

The “upgrade”, closing in the South End Zone, was originally supposed to bring some uniformity to the design, tie in all levels with each other, and create a seamless structure.

Nope.

Nintendo thinks aggy nailed it.

Sightlines

This is some PRIME seating right here.

Unstable

When you have to re-engineer your BRAND NEW STADIUM UPGRADE because it sways like crepe paper streamers in the wind every time a freaking SONG is played? Yeah. aggy engineering.[1]”Texas A&M reinforcing stadium seats due to swaying when ‘Sandstorm’ is played”, http://www.thescore.com/news/791447

Texas A&M is steeling Kyle Field against the anthem that has blasted in almost every stadium at some point during the game. Literally.

The south end zone stands have been reinforced with additional steel to combat the swaying that occurs when the techno song “Sandstorm” by Darude plays, according to the Houston Chronicle’s Brent Zwerneman.[2]”Kyle Field reinforcements swaying Aggies’ concerns”, … Continue reading

“It’s very technical, but the particular frequency (of ‘Sandstorm’) was the issue,” said Craig Kaufman, project manager for the architectural firm Populous, which designed the Aggies’ rebuilt stadium.

So, in typical aggy engineering, they added PVC pipes to funnel the sound down into the storm drainage system and away from the stadium[3]”Kyle Field reinforcements swaying Aggies’ concerns”, … Continue reading

I’m just going to let that sink in for a minute.

You don’t believe me, do you?

You can’t possibly believe that a major University would allow this sort of clown-car engineering to not only be slapped onto their multi-million dollar stadium expansion, but also trot out their architectural project manager to bray about it to a major newspaper… could you?

PVC. To redirect sound.

… “and after consulting with several Texas A&M engineers, we decided to reinforce the stands with more steel, and are also installing additional PVC pipes. The additional PVC pipes will funnel the sound [of Sandstorm] down into the storm drainage system and away from that particular section of the stadium. Fans shouldn’t notice much, if any, of a difference in sound levels, but the PVC piping has been designed by Texas A&M engineers to function as an acoustic damper. The engineers determined that the sound frequencies needed to be funneled somewhere, and the storm drainage system was the natural choice, as it already exists, and allows us to deal with Sandstorm’s frequencies with only a small additional cost of around $25 million.[4]”Kyle Field reinforcements swaying Aggies’ concerns”, … Continue reading

The funniest aggy jokes are the ones that are actually real.

Fake Football Championships

1939.

What happened in 1939?[5]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1939

• The Spanish Civil War was finally ending
• Lou Gehrig retires from Major League Baseball after being diagnosed with ALS
• John Steinbeck’s novel “The Grapes of Wrath” is first published
• “Gone with the Wind” premieres in Atlanta.
• The first Little League Baseball game is played in Williamsport, Pennsylvania.
• Hitler invades Poland
• aggy is named National Champion in football

From that year until August of 2012, that is the ONLY national championship that aggy has ever claimed in football. They’ve had throwback uniforms and celebrations and had it prominently displayed on their frankenKroger stadium.

Well that all changed in September of 2012. Yep, aggy history managed to get a lot more storied over the offseason. Two “new” national titles, in 1919 and 1927. Two new Big 12 championships, in 1997 and 2010.[6]Texas A&M Picked Up Two National Championships, Two Conference Titles Over The Summer, Deadspin, 9/7/12, … Continue reading

Take a look at the graphic, showing the before/after claims. There was not a single living aggy player around to claim or dispute these ridiculous National championship additions.

The two conference championship claims are even funnier, as they were blown out of the Big XII Title Game in the first new claim (54-15 to Nebraska) and didn’t even play in the second Title Game in the second claim (OUsux beat the Corn).

“Facts” never bothered aggy before. Why start now?

Dead Dog Scoreboard

All universities love their mascots. All universities treat their mascots with respect as they pass on.

aggy, of course, takes it to another level.

Outside of Kyle Field is a cemetery of former Reveilles, which in-and-of-itself isn’t really that odd. It’s kind of sweet, really.

What’s odd is that the former stadium design allowed the dead dogs to see the scoreboard, so they could “watch” aggy get beat on a regular basis.[7]http://www.scoreboards.net/articles/texas-am-honors-mascot-with-scoreboard/

As the stadium upgrade took place, the deceased canine generals could no longer see the scoreboard, so aggy placed a TEMPORARY electronic scoreboard where the daisy-pushing pooches could keep tabs on the latest aggy defeat.

Once the frankenKroger upgrade was complete, the final weekly defeat reminder to the pack was mounted proudly in plain view to the side of the stadium.

Bats!

Central Texas has numerous Mexican free-tailed Bat colonies[8]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_free-tailed_bat, including the one of the largest under the Congress Avenue Bridge in Austin, Texas. Austin has fully embraced the bats, encouraging both bat sightings and ecology/preservation[9]http://austin.com/10-reasons-to-love-austins-congress-bridge-bats/.

The Mexican free-tailed bats in College Station took up residence in the old Kyle Field structure. Everything associated with large-scale bat colonies suddenly made their presence known during the aggy “Game Day Experience” — namely THE SMELL.

As aggy were preparing their stadium expansion, they hired a local pest control company in an attempt to move the bats[10]http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/AM-Dealing-with-Kyle-Field-Bat-Colony-197101431.html.

During the actual stadium renovation, though, the bats had to go somewhere, right?

So, the bats thought “LET’S GO TO THE POOL!”.

The natatorium at Texas A&M University is typically a hub of activity in the spring. Students swim laps there, health classes use it for instruction and the swimming and diving team practices on its high-dives.

But this month, all that activity stopped because of a new user. For about a week, hundreds of Mexican free-tailed bats made the pool their temporary home.

The infestation was an extreme case, but it wasn’t altogether unique. Renovations and eradication efforts at the bats’ normal home – the football stadium Kyle Field – have forced the flying mammals out across the rest of campus in search of new shelter.

“They are finding bats in the gym, in the swimming pool – all kinds of places,” said Thomas Lacher, a wildlife and fisheries sciences professor and bat expert on campus.[11]https://www.texastribune.org/2015/05/02/during-stadium-renovation-homeless-bats-invade-m-b/

It blowed up real good

Only aggy could blow up their own old ugly stadium and put themselves right in the middle of the debris cloud.

Think I’m kidding? Look at these idiots scramble:

Hall of “Champions”

One would think that, in order to have a “Hall of Champions”, one would first need to have actually won enough championships to fill up at least part of the previously aforementioned Hall, right?

NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND.

In 2014, when Texas A&M unvelied their expansion of Kyle Field, they also celebrated the opening of the Texas A&M Hall of Champions.

Although the school had only won 13 NCAA championships, their Hall of Champions had 30,000 square feet of exhibition space, an area larger then the hangar NASA used to house the Space Shuttle.

Also — if you count, there are as many “S!E!C!” logos as there are aggy logos.

How many championships has aggy won since joining the S!E!C!?

aggy actually had John Travolta attend the Grand Opening of the WORLD FAMOUS aggy Hall of Champions