I was born a poor, orphan child on the dry, windswept plains of Texas. Through hard work and diligent study, by the time my high school graduation approached, I knew I would be one of the lucky ones and would be able to attend college. Growing up in the relative isolation of the Texas outback among the dingoes, jackalopes and carnivorous giant armadillos, I knew I wanted to study anthropology and eventually become a researcher, someday studying primitive cultures. Sadly, while attending The University of Texas, I succumbed to the siren song of wealth and personal comfort. In a moment that would alter the course of my life, I changed my major from anthropology. But I knew in my heart, I always wanted to both study and write about primitive cultures.
After many years, I was eventually contacted by the staff at aggypedia to help with their noble project of chronicling that which we know as aggy. For the uninitiated, aggy is the least developed culture in all of Texas. It is a culture that lacks self-awareness and an ability to differentiate between fact and fairy tale, as well as a culture whose primary importance is avoid the natural evolution of the human species at all costs.